I Correctly Predicted That Sportswriters Would Out-Guess Psychics in the Super Bowl

magic 8 ball[As seen at Doubtful News.]

Okay, I admit I didn’t go on record with that prediction.  But trust me.

Twenty-five psychics were asked by HuffPo to predict yesterday’s Super Bowl, in which the New England Patriots defeated the Seattle Seahawks 28 to 24.  Bookies had given generally even odds between the two closely matched teams, with sportswriters leaning toward New England.

A majority of both ESPN and CBC NFL writers correctly predicted New England would win.  Nine of 13 ESPN writers  guessed rightly, or 69%, as did four of 7 CBS NFL writers , or 57%.

Since psychics tune into the all-embracing Spiritual Oneness, you’d expect more consensus from them than we had from the writers.  But oddly, it seems as if they mistakenly tuned into the disagreeing mortal pundits instead.  Psychics showed about the same split as sportswriters, with 16 of 26 guessing right, or 64%.

Unlike the sportswriters and bookies, though, the psychics didn’t get the mystical memo about the game being close.  While CBS writers’ average point spread was bang on at four points, psychics with their penchant for drama averaged a 12-point spread.

One of the CBS writers guessed the exact final score of 28-24.  So did Dave Madden’s simulation game, which brings the Madden’s Super Bowl prediction record to 9-3.

How many of the twenty-five psychics guessed the final score?  Sadly, not one.  Two did provide bonus predictions — that the game would go into overtime, and that the Seattle quarterback would go down with a knee injury.  Oops and oops.  Psychic football prediction technique was explained by one mystic, who used a combination of “meditation, tuning in and numerology” to make her wrong guess.

Then there was the spirit guide who accidentally connected to an alternate universe, instructing her psychic channeler to pick the Patriots to win 13-5… over the Minnesota Vikings.

Sure, psychics are cheaper and easier to get an appointment with.  Which is fine if you don’t care about the results.  But if it’s the least bit important?  Check with the experts.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s