Why do planets keep LYING?! Astrologic ‘science’ advisors lead Sri Lanka president to crushing defeat

Astrologer Sumanadasa Abeygunawardena: “I have never given any wrong advice.  President Rajapaksa cannot be defeated.”

Sri Lanka president loses

Defeated: President Rajapaksa

This is Sri Lanka,  where voters prepare for elections by watching serious TV news programs featuring “panel[s] of experts seated behind a thicket of microphones somberly [holding] forth at an opposition news conference… The subject: Astrology.”  Where  “panels of astrologers debat[e] the fortunes of political leaders, in a format something like that of “The McLaughlin Group.”

Before Thursday’s national election, the stars seemed to shine down on Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa:

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka — On Dec. 30, Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa held a small meeting with dozens of astrologers, among them a few of his closest advisers — astrologers… The race is turning out to be unexpectedly close, but in public, the astrologers have been all good news.

Based on astrologers’ urgings, the president had called an election two years early, an unprecedented action.  They assured him that not only would he easily win a third term, but a fourth as well.  His closest advisor whom he met with daily, astrologer Sumanadasa Abeygunawardena, has been cockily informing world media of his unerring predictions and astrology’s power:

Thursday, will be an “immensely fortunate” date for the president… “ I have never given any wrong advice… The  president, he has such auspicious time and so much power in his  planetary position that he cannot be defeated in an election.”

The royal science pseudoscience advisor had studied the horoscope of the president’s opponent, Maithripala Sirisena, confirming only one possible outcome:

“The planet Saturn is in his house, and it’s a bad time for him. A very bad time,” he said. “His house is clearly spoiled irreparably.”

In an interview, Abeygunawardena explained just how he could be so sure that election day, Jan 8, will be auspicious.     Science!  8 is the president’s lucky number!  Just do the math:

“When he initially contested for the Presidential Election… It was 17 November 2005. (1+7=8) In 2010 also, nominations were handed over on 17 December. (1+7=8) The election will be held on 8 January. (8) The constitutional amendment was done on 8 September… [For his next term, he] achieved 82% at that election. This election will be held in 2015… 2+1+5=8… Date is also 8 January 2015. Date and the total of the digits of the year are 8.

Numerology must be true, because it uses numbers, and numbers are scientific!  Astrology must be true because it uses (other people’s) measurements, and those are numbers too!  He explains his irrefutable research in most impressive jargon:

“He has the planetary positioning suitable for a very great leader… He has been born in the house of Virgo… Good planets are positioned in 6, 7 and 8 of the Moon’s house… that wipes out all the evils. In Moon’s 6th position, there are great powers… His chief of the House Mercury is situated in the 3 position of Moon as per the Prashshreshtatha Mula Thrikona power. It is coupled with the king of the planets, the Sun.  This is the powerful Chandradhi Yoga and Jupiter is at the 11 position in the peak… Saturn… shifted to his 3 position.

Everybody knows that 3rd position is very good for Saturn… According to astrology, this is an easy victory… It is a very powerful auspicious time.”

Sri Lanka royal astrologer

Abeygunawardena explains the unerring science and mathematics behind his predictions

“Is it clear now?” he asks the interviewer.  Oh yes.  How confident is he?  “There is no error.”

Earlier and similarly impressive research by Abeygunawardena revealed the stunning news that the president “was the long-awaited Prince Diyasena, the  hero who, according to Sinhala Buddhist legend, was destined to save Sri  Lanka from anarchy and then rule for around 24 years.”

With science this exacting, surely other astrological scientists would come to the same conclusion.  Oddly enough, that didn’t happen.  It turns out the president’s opponents have their astrologers too, who analyzed the same natal and star charts, yet mysteriously arrived at completely contradictory conclusions.  The winner’s astrologer guessed determined that Sirisena

“has the most powerful horoscope, and nothing will stop him from winning,” declared astrologer Gamini Bulathsinghala. The president, he said, “is fated to lose.”

The battle of the planets is especially epic in a country where  “detailed horoscopes play a key role in major life decisions from whom to marry to whether to change jobs,” and “shape the destiny of the nation and its rulers.”   But lo, what is this?  Sri Lanka election: shock result as president Mahinda Rajapaksa is tossed out.

When asked by a reporter to comment on his failed prediction after the election, Abeygunawardena humbly acknowledged that astrology and numerology may not be the reliable sciences he claimed them to be angrily berated a reporter and called her “crazy.”

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